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13-1 에드워드 Edward 목장보고서 외국인 목장 2021.09.12 2021.09.15
13-1 에드워드 Edward 목장보고서 외국인 목장 2021.09.12
13-1 에드워드 Edward 목장보고서 외국인 목장 2021.09.12
Sunday, September 12th via Zoom @ 14:30
In attendance: Edward, YoonJeong, and Paul K.
Pastor Lee,Tae-Gun [Acts 27:9-26, The Northeaster]
1. (First, why do we meet the Northeaster?) It is because we trust the experts' advice more than
AQs: 1) Have you encountered the Northeaster in your life? 2) Do you trust the experts' advice more than the Word? 3) Have you become your own captain and centurion that you are forcing yourself to continue on overwhelming voyage? 4) What are you currently regretting and repenting for not listening to your community?
Edward: I certainly have. I did not take good advice which was to grieve after my first wife’s death. Instead, I had an affair which quickly turned into a hurricane of job loss and ultimately, leaving the US and going to Canada and spending a jobless year at the YMCA due to my stubborness of thinking I can handle things. I didn't trust the experts and didn't trust God's words. I only trusted myself.
I'm currently repenting about a letter I had sent to a mother who has bubble-wrapped her son and has trained him into a "victim-mentality".
YoonJeong: We went to the park with the family and our duck. A lady thought we were abusing our duck that was tangled in my daughter's clothes. We had a quarrel and I realized I had a long ways to go regarding my patience. I even saw a police officer that happened to be there and told her my story wanting support from anyone.
I repented last week to my husband because of my actions of not listening to him and responding to him. I also repented to God.
Paul K: Absolutely. I seem to listen to experts more often than the Word which might temporarily fix things, but doesn't pan out well in the long run. It was (and still is) very difficult for me to accept my father's "style" of doing business and parenting. We get into many arguments and in doing so, it reminds me of how my father and grandfather used to fight when I was a young child. I need to listen to the Word and church members advising me to take the proper steps by trusting the Lord rather than myself. But I want to be the "captain" and try to take the wheel when I know inside that I must let God steer and take control of my actions, decisions, and life. I need to connect to God more often, especially now.
2. (Why do we meet the Northeaster?) It is because we seek for comfort.
AQs: 1) Do you believe the uncomfortable situation you are stuck in now is the best place God granted you? 2) Aren't you seeking to reach more comfortable place which is making you go on an overwhelming voyage? 3) What do you want to switch in your life, from the harbor to Pheonix? Your car, house, stocks or academic background?
Edward: I can't say it's the best place, but I do accept that it is a good God-given place to grow and learn such situations. My efforts to evangelize my son through sending him Qtin and explaining that Jesus is way beyond a moral teacher have been blocked by him, at least temporarily.
My son's letter was describing his back problems he had after being vaccinations. He also praised me on all that I’m doing at my age. But I realized I don't have a particular goal or destination for all that I'm doing. Should I take a closer look at what I'm doing? Am I staying busy because I’m addicted to being busy? I thought I wanted to stop being principal, but I'll stay there until God tells me to go.
YoonJeong: Compared to all the mess I've made in the past, I accept my current situation that God has given me. I ask myself, "Why am I keeping myself so busy?" I joined a one month long course about marriage counseling. My calling is raising my children and being there for them, but perhaps I was joining other programs or doing other things to avoid the hardships of raising kids. I was also thinking of maybe not moving into the new apartment. I used to say I wanted to "switch" husbands, but I think about jobs a lot. I want to go to the US and teach English. And I'd like to work with the environment.
Paul K: Yes, I should say yes because God has put me here in this situation, but I don't accept it much even though I ought to. Yes, I'm looking for a comfortable place, emotionally more than physically. Perhaps I should be more thankful because I'm never "comfortable." Maybe that's why I feel like I'm seeking God so much. I often ask myself, "Am I annoying God?"
3. Gentle wind turns into a wind of hurricane force.
AQs: 1) What was the incident that a gentle wind turned into a wind of hurricane force? 2) Have you tried with all your strength to overcome the storm with your own willpower until the very end? 3) Have you reached the point where you couldn't see the sun or the stars for many days in open sea, where you thought of death with no hope for deliverance?
Edward: Trying to do things with my willpower has led to storm after storm in my life and those storms I could not overcome with my power. I endured three real hurricanes, one every year for three years in a row, and I know firsthand the power of category 4 and category 5 hurricanes. When my sins unleashed a hurricane in my own life, my willpower was useless against it. I had to repent and endure and wait for God’s wind.
YoonJeong: I used my willpower with fasting and prayer in the past. God's power is the only resolution. I felt like I was too innocent to realize what my husband was doing. The second time, I tried to change my husband with my own powers which didn't work. The third time, God tells me to open up and confess and to share my testimony. Sometimes, I think about death but not seriously.
Paul K: Yes and No. I might say verbally that God is in control but at the end of the day, I don’t allow God take full control. No, I've never thought of death with no hope.
4. But the Lord tells us to not be afraid in the midst of the Northeaster.
AQs: 1) Even though you are still going through the Northeaster, the Lord tells you not to be afraid. Do you accept this word as His voice? 2) Aren't you still afraid that the ship might wreck? 3) What island did God give you to serve? 4) What is your ship that needs to be wrecked for your family's deliverance?
Edward: I didn't accept it when I was in the storm. I was numbed and I could only accept things as they rolled along. I couldn't feel fear, even going to church daily. I came to accept the Lord's voice, in His words, because there seemed to be no alternative. It's God's voice or nothing.
YoonJeong: It's hard to believe it.
Paul K: For the most part, yes. My actions, however, seem to contradict my belief sometimes. I believe that my ship has been wrecked with my family in the States for quite some time, but only now am I even starting to accept it and move forward. Maybe move forward with a broken heart but with my brother and father's salvation in mind.
YoonJeong: Pray for housing loan and for husband to join 1 on 1 training.
Edward: Pray for the right wording on the letter to my student's mother.
Paul K: Pray for solutions on my current visa problems.
Pray that my wife will have a successful business meeting down in Ulsan and a safe return home.